its not what it seems.

hi peeps.
It has been few months since my prev post.
i was too busy with my study especially my fyp.
i wanna share about the same thing all over again.
my hardest goodbye, my painful sweet memories and my longest tears.

last month, i met my teacher from my secondary school. it was good to see her again. it really do. she came to me while im working with my experiment. she held my hands and ask me, what happen to your boyfriend. it was shocking that she knew, but i acted calm. she looked at me in my eyes and suddenly, i felt sad. i almost cry in front of her. i told her everything i also tell her that till today, i CANNOT moving on from that guy. she sighed. she told me something that made me wanna hit my self and cry badly;

" Tipah, in our life there will be ups and down. and there will be time that we broke up and fell in love all over again. MOVE ON. i know it's hard, but you have too. you what even more stupid? you still crying for him, longing for him and still hold on to him, but he is happy with other girl. as you said, he will get married soon. why you waste your time and tears for him? he doesnt even worth it. i want you to be happy. truly happy. let him go. why you stll make yourself suffer from loving others mate? what you want in ife is obviously not him. Allah shows you that he's not yours, why you wanna go against Him? Athifah, wake up and live your life."

i was speechless and it was a long conversation. what should i do??? i really2 dont know. hmmm
the next week, i met my Ustaz. he talked to me a lot about future and the words i remember the most are;

"Tipah, if you wanna succeed and pass your uni life, stay away with boys by all mean relationship and all those sunk ships, and dont stay out late at night. dont be too lalai and keep your relationship with Allah well. take care of those thing, you will succeed. focus on what important."

they gave me motivation and supports and i keep on tryng to listen and do what they asked me too. it is hard, but i wont give up.


gtg
see ya
Miss A

Now

Wooaa. I found my self hardly crying lately. Kenape? Maybe sebab aku dah penat sangat or maybe aku confius? Im confused whether tu cry or nah in some situation. Imma bit confusing. Yeahh. Im a girl with a messy head and complicated. Ppl used to say that girls are complicated. Most of the girls denied that but i keep it shut since im one of the kind. Lol. Shahrul once told me that, he was fated to fall in love with the most complicated girl, that was directed to me. I was like, im sorry for being complicated but i am. Hahahha. So, back to the main topic, i was trying to say that, maybe i became a heartless person or maybe the gland dried up since it been quite hot lately. The sun shone so bright till i got my tear gland dry. Im not making joke guys,but that's my logic. Yeah, imma weirdoooooo.... K fine, dont know what to say. I always left a story hanging. Yeah, afterall this time, im complicated

Gtg
See ya
Miss A

hi

hi again. Hanif, thank you for this 8 years. i think it is time that i really really need to let you go. forgetting you? it is not easy since you're my first love in my life. And you sang me to sleep, you make me laughed without apparent reason. and you care so much. but they're all in my past. you left me just like that. Tbf,  i was broken, really do. im so sorry for loving you this much. Never cross my mind that i would love you this much. i hope i could totally forget everything about you, about us because all i got for thinking of you is heartache. so now, i don't either it is good or nah i do forget you and moving on. i hope that i could open my heart for someone new now. it hurts me everytime i stalked you on facebook, instagram and twitter. even by letting you go means i got no idea for my writings but till when should i hold on to you? so, this is it. i hope i will stop loving you even it takes all my strength, thank you for being a good man, a caring boyfriend, a sweet guy and the most important my first love.

hanif, yoou might not know this, but waiting for you is the best part in my life. Seeing you with that girl, i could still be happy as long as you're happy. i've stop playing handball now, you must be shocked right? i've told you before, no matter what,i'll stick to handball. but now , i can't. i've losing you, losing my ability to play handball. to be sumup, my life is nothing now. i've failed to defend both love and passion. 

to let you know again, i never regret loving and knowing you. i never hate you even after all that happened. you are the reason i felt the love, even once and temporary. you are the first person having crush on me, the first person i have crush on, the first boyfriend i got, the first guy who called me sayang, the first guy who broke my heart, the first guy who makes me cried, the first guy i loved for 8 years. and thank you for leaving such scar on my heart.

for shaf, thank you for everything, for being there for me. you know what, i actually never said more about hanif to anyone except you becau i trusted you. be happy with jorjor. lots of love,typ.

gtg

see ya

Miss A.

new year

holla 2017. it seem a while since my last update huh?? im just busy with class schedule, extra classes, last minute assignment from lecturers, study weeks and final week. now im having 2 more papers to finish then my sem break for a month. and yeah, preparing for the next semester. so tough rite?

so today, i don't know what i'm going to talk and babbling about. hahaha

in life, sometimes what you seen is not what it supposed to b. it can be you just be at the place at wrong time. so you might just see the bad in it. then, it can be that you just saw one short incident and just assume all the conlusions and the story line. its not good, but we're human. it will work that way i guess. so, lets start new chapter without being jugemental and well, good luck..




see ya
Miss A