she WAS my friend

friends till forever. never let a single thing tear us apart.

 najwa, ingat tak?
that was what we used to vow before. we were best friends. but when the time changes and people changed. its not like i 100% forget everything 'bout you, tapi i just dont know why. something happened and left  the deep scar . i just cant tell you the truth. im not that cool to just tell you everything. 

thuraya selalu tanye aku macam mane dengan friendship kita. macam mana dengan kenangan kite. tak sayang ke semua tu ? i just dont have right word to say.  rindu memang rindu. tapi ego masih berbaki. like you said before,"ego kau mengalahkan menara klcc", aku jadi macam tuh sebab aku takut someday there's nothing left for you but hatred.  

thuraya cakap kau tanye pasal aku. aku speechless plus aku tak percaya. aku tahu tempat kau belajar lepas spm pon a month before kite habis belajar. macam mane nak contact kalau nombor baru tukar tak bagi. FB deactivated. care ape lagi aku nak contact. memang aku ego. memang aku takank mengalah . tapi bile aku mengalah and cuba nak baiki balik persahabatan kita, kau buat tak layan. aku whatsapp pon tak reply. pastu sedar2 tukar nombor. sakit jugak hati aku.

but then, bile aku dah fully gave up, kau buat aku rase bersalah. aku lebih rela kita masing2 tak bertanye khabar daripada saling membenci. aku taknak benci orang yang pernah jadi a part of my life, yang pernah jadi my best best best friend, yang pernah jadi my partner in crime. 

sedih bile teringat semua kenangan kita. since primary school. then secondary school . satu sekolah tapi tak same kelas. aku intan 1 and kau intan 2. tapi, kite tetap spent time same2 mase recess and mase balik. even sekejap je. tapi aku kena transfer masuk mrsm. you're going no where. mula2 kite okay lagi. aku slalu call. balik weekend slalu keluar. tapi lame2, ajak keluar tak boleh. text tak reply. sampai laa masuk kolej. and sampai dah habis setahun and sekarang cuti panjang tunggu in take degree. cuti berbulan dah, tapi macam duduk berbatu-batu jauhnya. padahal tak jauh pon. 

kenape tanye pasal aku lagi. buat ape? i dont fucking care. im heartless? yes ,i am. you turned me this way. it seemed like you reallly2 wanted to see the other side of me. im sorry but i have nothing to say. if you wait for me to text you, to take you out, im sorry, i just cant do it because i've tried before but you just giving me heartache. thanks for that. im happier. 

memang nampak aku selfish tapi aku dah tak tahu nak buat ape. this is the only way. wish you luck in everything you do. do well. even when im leaving, our memories will stay. because you're the best person i used to know. 

that's all
gtg 
see ya

Miss A.