Another day!

 As I wrote before, about my parents and stuff, I think it happened exactly for a reason. As we slowly accepted it, we found out the truth, one by one. It's hard but we learn to accept it. Allah won't test us beyond our limit, so here I am, fighting and accepting. The beauty will always be at the end of the climb. So enough blaming and crying. We'll move on with our life no matter what. There's no use tearing up for the past which cannot be changed anymore.

    ---------------------------------------New updates on my life---------------------------------------------

I'm officially single. I chose to be out of the relationship for a few reasons. 

1. I wanna focus on my ambition and study.

2. I realize it is unnecessary to be in one, at least for now.

3. I don't wanna get married any soon.

4. There's a lot more I wanna achieve other than being with guys and all.

 Etc, etc...

So yeah, breaking up is the best for me now.

Then, about my master's, I'm in the writing phase right now. A bit slow but progress is still progress. No harm!! 

So that's all.

GTG, See ya!

Miss A.

A Day That I Think I Won't Regret

 Hallo Everyone. 

Today I did something that my dad would be mad at me. My mom came and I went to see her. I just missed her a lot that I couldn't resist seeing her. Whatever happened between mom and dad is heartbreaking and has nothing to do with me. Like I don't have the right to hate either of them and also I don't have the right to be mad at either of them. I, honestly didn't forget her at all. I miss her every single time, every day.  I will forever respect mom and dad even tho it hurts to love them separately now. My love won't stop when they stop staying together. It hurts them as much as it hurts me. I hope that even if this is the fate written for our family, the love we have for each other won't fade away and the memories we had will always be in our hearts. 

The thing about life is it will not always go your way. There will be times when you have to stop and change your direction. There's the moment when you have to accept the flaws in your journey and embrace the outcome of your plans. Allah isn't cruel. He gave you precisely what you need. What suits you at that very moment. I was given chances and choices. Each decision comes with consequences. Whether I like it or not. I'm not supposed to blame anyone at all because I'll see the beauty of it when I started to accept it, wholeheartedly. 

So yeah!

Got to go

See ya! 

Miss A.

Drama!!

 Hello everyone!

I think I need a place to rant about everything and I guess I need to be active on the blog like I used to. I don't think people gonna follow my update here and I might as well don't have to explain anything here. I mean, the hows and whys. It has been almost two weeks since my mom left. I thought I would be vulnerable but I'm not. I learn to accept everything and it happened for a reason or many reasons. 

The saddest part is my dad. He looks so sad, down, and not really accepting what's happening. I told him to move on like he asked us to. I know it is painful to lose the love of his life that they've been together for 30++ years. It is not easy to say, and harder to do. For as blue as we siblings are, I'm pretty sure it hits my dad harder. 

And also my nices. As for Maryam, she's 1 and obviously doesn't really understand what had happened but Afiya, the sister, she is so sad that her grandma left the house so suddenly. She always asked me how I feel and who's gonna be my mom after this. I have no simple word to tell her how I feel. I knew she knew how I feel and she also doesn't know how to put her feelings together. Today, she told my sister to bring her to Kuantan because she probably could meet her grandma. how could my mom leave without having a single thought of her kids and granddaughters? And I did ask Amin, my youngest brother whether my mom call him or not. He said, mom hasn't called him and he doesn't wanna talk about it. So sad!! 

So whatever happens after this, I hope I'll stay strong and stronger. That's all for now!

gtg,

See ya!

Miss A

When everything's falling apart.

Holla fellas,

It's been a while that I write in the Bloggie. So busy finishing my master and something came up recently that makes me wanna update my blog. I don't know where else I could rant about it. 

My mom asked my dad to divorce her. It's a big thing, at least for me. I never thought that something like this will happen to me. Not in this life, at least. But somehow, it happened. Allah made it happen. I have no power to stop it from happening. Never imagine living in a broken family. Never. I always pray to never have to went through this someday, especially when I'm having a big examination (PMR, SPM, etc). I actually forgot to pray for my other siblings too, especially my youngest brother. Amin is gonna sit for SPM this year. Mom asked me not to hate her, but I have the right to be mad. 

And the thing is, I really don't know how to handle my feelings, like what am I supposed to do? Am I not allowed to be mad at all? I'm lost. I never imagine having gone through this kind of shit in my life. Mom asked me not to hate her. Asked me not to be mad or have some kind of revenge upon her, but I'm a human, the daughter! I have feelings, and it is valid! I really hope that mom gonna regrets her decision, and everything went back to normal again. I don't wanna live like this. I want a happy family at home. 

Ya Allah, ease everything and remove the pain from our hearts. Please erase all the hate and give me a happy family at home. Aminn.

Gtg,

See Ya!

Miss A.